courage, dear heart

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'." Mary Anne Radmacher Fear. It's another ugly F-word in the English language. It holds so many people back from what they truly want and gives them nothing in return. Christians are supposed…

a knitter’s hand knit heart

I realized today I've never explained the meaning behind my blog title: this hand knit heart. After some recent heavy posts, I figured this would be a nice break. I learned how to loom-knit when I was 13. Loom-knitting was a class that semester in the homeschool co-op, where we would meet once a week…

garbage in, garbage out

I was cleaning out a bookshelf when I found it: "What Do You Do When You Become Depressed?" I dropped it the second I realized what it was. I've had this pamphlet since I was 14. I've read it maybe three times, but much of the advice is imprinted in my brain and I have…

the semicolon on my wrist

Every morning, I draw a semicolon on my wrist. I might seem too old to draw on myself, but this isn't the same as the doodles I drew on my hand in 3rd grade. This is a reminder to stay alive. Amy Bluel created Project Semicolon in 2013 after her father's suicide to raise awareness…

not beyond repair

Recently I returned to something I loved when I was younger: fanfiction. (Feel free to laugh. I know it sounds dorky, but I'm okay with it. Not everyone gets it, and that's fine.) For the uninitiated, fanfiction is where a writer will take existing characters and continue their stories, either in that character's universe or…

he clears his name with love

I want to explain some more of the toxic beliefs I've alluded to so that you can understand what I believed for most of my Christian life. I began writing this particular post four months ago but never posted it because it followed three particularly heavy posts. I definitely had to listen to a few…

there and back again

I wasn't planning on writing five episodes in the series when I began five weeks ago, but my first post about day one was 1,900 words long after scrupulous editing. Day two was 2,200 words long. There was no satisfactory way to combine and condense both posts. Same thing for days three and four. 10,000 words later…

through mist and rain

It is difficult to believe it's been nearly a month since I was in Canada, but it's true. This past Sunday our group talked about the trip at our church's missions lunch. Everyone shared, so it was interesting to hear what each person's perspective has developed into in the past month. I remembered how much…