i think i should feel hopeful

I think I should feel hopeful. I think I should feel hopeful that my triggers are being triggered; if I work through them, I'll eventually move on without them. If the way out truly is through, then I am being catapulted into a future too bright to see because I'm choosing to believe the light at…

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into the fire

Burning a book isn't my first line of defense when I find one that is problematic, but most rules in life have exceptions. My rule is no different. I had to burn some books from my past. It might sound overly-dramatic, but I wouldn't burn just any old book. To me, burning books is a…

disconnect to reconnect

I have a hard time speaking up for myself. When someone comes along with a stronger opinion than mine, I fold like a cheap lawn chair during a hurricane. I just naturally assume I'm always wrong. Keeping my opinions is sometimes a Herculean feat. One of the natural strengths of my personality type, INFJ, is…

a face behind a face

Apparently people seem to think I'm this nice, sweet, innocent person. I'm not sure how true that is, though I can see why people might think so. I'm short and petite. I wear scarves and cardigans like a retired librarian. I wear bright lipstick and rarely leave the house without makeup. I knit for fun…

the state of affairs

I'm going to be honest here: I don't really want to write a post this week. I'm writing one anyway because I hate the idea of breaking my four-month posting streak. This week has been tough. They say grief can return unexpectedly. It's true. Mine appeared at church last Sunday and has been reverberating in my…

(mixtape) summer 2017: wide open

(part one) MAY: mild canadian summer I Can't Take It In Metropolis Castle On The Hill Oceans Ends of the Earth Neighbor Song (you'll want earbuds to hear this properly) Only Heirs Things We Lost In The Fire Facing A Task Unfinished   (part two) JUNE: heavy winds sad and boujee Words Running In The…

sticks and stones

I've heard a lot of ugly things.  I've heard a pastor say most people aren't worth getting to know because they're sinners.  I've heard a family member joke about calling someone "absolutely worthless" and bullying that person until they hid every time my family member was around.  That's not to mention the lies I was…

a few things i love

I started back school this week and decided I'd rather post a list of things I love than an essay about feeling tired of school. Without further ado, here's a list of things I love: Narnia gardens stargazing dark colors hearing the echoes of a distant party old libraries when someone asks you what you…

courage, dear heart

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'." Mary Anne Radmacher Fear. It's another ugly F-word in the English language. It holds so many people back from what they truly want and gives them nothing in return. Christians are supposed…

a knitter’s hand knit heart

I realized today I've never explained the meaning behind my blog title: this hand knit heart. After some recent heavy posts, I figured this would be a nice break. I learned how to loom-knit when I was 13. Loom-knitting was a class that semester in the homeschool co-op, where we would meet once a week…