(mixtape) summer 2017: wide open

(part one) MAY: mild canadian summer I Can't Take It In Metropolis Castle On The Hill Oceans Ends of the Earth Neighbor Song (you'll want earbuds to hear this properly) Only Heirs Things We Lost In The Fire Facing A Task Unfinished   (part two) JUNE: heavy winds sad and boujee Words Running In The…

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sticks and stones

I've heard a lot of ugly things.  I've heard a pastor say most people aren't worth getting to know because they're sinners.  I've heard a family member joke about calling someone "absolutely worthless" and bullying that person until they hid every time my family member was around.  That's not to mention the lies I was…

a few things i love

I started back school this week and decided I'd rather post a list of things I love than an essay about feeling tired of school. Without further ado, here's a list of things I love: Narnia gardens stargazing dark colors hearing the echoes of a distant party old libraries when someone asks you what you…

courage, dear heart

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'." Mary Anne Radmacher Fear. It's another ugly F-word in the English language. It holds so many people back from what they truly want and gives them nothing in return. Christians are supposed…

a knitter’s hand knit heart

I realized today I've never explained the meaning behind my blog title: this hand knit heart. After some recent heavy posts, I figured this would be a nice break. I learned how to loom-knit when I was 13. Loom-knitting was a class that semester in the homeschool co-op, where we would meet once a week…

garbage in, garbage out

I was cleaning out a bookshelf when I found it: "What Do You Do When You Become Depressed?" I dropped it the second I realized what it was. I've had this pamphlet since I was 14. I've read it maybe three times, but much of the advice is imprinted in my brain and I have…

the semicolon on my wrist

Every morning, I draw a semicolon on my wrist. I might seem too old to draw on myself, but this isn't the same as the doodles I drew on my hand in 3rd grade. This is a reminder to stay alive. Amy Bluel created Project Semicolon in 2013 after her father's suicide to raise awareness…

not beyond repair

Recently I returned to something I loved when I was younger: fanfiction. (Feel free to laugh. I know it sounds dorky, but I'm okay with it. Not everyone gets it, and that's fine.) For the uninitiated, fanfiction is where a writer will take existing characters and continue their stories, either in that character's universe or…

he clears his name with love

I want to explain some more of the toxic beliefs I've alluded to so that you can understand what I believed for most of my Christian life. I began writing this particular post four months ago but never posted it because it followed three particularly heavy posts. I definitely had to listen to a few…